By god i feel good.

But then...that could be the two bottles of kick that i just drank. Thats another 300mg of caffeine in my body, helping my head feel like its trapping in a Lynch film. (and im talking more Eraserhead than The Straight Story)

Work is KILLING me at the moment, breath by breath seems to be a struggle. Converstations seem to take weeks, with nothing being said, but being said at a very slow rate.

Now with the caffeine in my body i feel like im on speed. All i need now is some music and a naked body to press up against and it will be like my old drug days.

And talking of partys, im hitting london on the weekend. Not sure where we are going yet...but a night out in london isent anything without a trip through Soho. Shouting at the c-list celebs as they come out of Groucho`s before slipping into The Pitcher and Piano., pushing through a maze of the rich and good looking so that you can throw back a 20 year old whiskey. Hope against hope that its going to be one of those good nights that feels like its lasting forever (the last night i had like that was at fi`s club, watching her dancing as time starts to slow down, every move like its being made in treacle, a slow smile spreading on my face as the music hits me like a hammer).

If we make it to camden then i have to hit my fav, The Worlds End Pub. Some dont like the place...but its CAMDEN....all the good...all the bad....mixed together. Where better to see all life than at the Worlds End?

wait a moment...i need to put some music on.

Thats better....i seem to have a small addiction to the Editors at the moment.

"You're answering questions that have not yet been asked All sparks will burn out in the end"

where was i?

Oh yes...London.

I hate it, i love it. It makes me laugh. it makes me cry.

When i was 13 a went down to london for the first time. Standing on oxford street i watched the everyday people walking along, a robotic procession of the same people in the same clothing, listening to the same beat in the head, wanting the same things, buying the same things.
As HOLE said "I went to school in Olympia. everyones the same, and so are you! in Olympia, we look the same, we talk the same, we even fuck the same"
Then i stepped into the allyways.
Down streets, through archways, across garbage strewn walkways. There you find the real people of london. The punks, the gays, the goths, the indie kids, the strange, the lost. There you can see the things that make life worth living and the things that make life so scary.
To a 13 year old it all seemed so new and different. Im from a small fishing village in the hills of scotland, but this felt more like home to me than my real home.

I still feel the same all these years later.

I could never live there. Some of the magic would die if i did. But the visits...ahh the visits.

I need more caffeine.....................